As I sit here and think about life, I want to scream and shout—but no one can hear my pain. Life has a way of beating a man down. There’s so much weight that a man carries daily, silently holding on to his soul. Yet, he won’t allow anyone to see him, not really, because he doesn’t want anyone to see his vulnerability.
All his fears and pain go unspoken. He can’t break down and cry, even when he desperately wants to. He believes he’s not allowed to cry when life gets hard. For him, there’s no belief in conditional love. That type of love, the kind that comforts and sees him, is only held by his wife, his children, and maybe his cats and dogs.
Still, he must play this game of life, regardless of how hard it gets. Think about it—no one really cares about a man’s broken heart or the burden he carries.
As a child, my mother taught me that life is not fair for a man. A man must pay his way through every hand he’s dealt. His only function is to work and grind, just to get from one day to the next. There is no respect for a man who can’t pay his way. He is disregarded, as if he isn’t even human.
Let me offer a little advice to every man reading this: if you ever reach the point where you’ve made your way—where your head is above water and you’re no longer drowning—find a woman who not only loves you, but whom you love unconditionally. Give her your last name. Do not give your heart to a woman who only stays because you’re a provider. She must give you substance. She must be your rock.
If you hurt, she must be your comfort. A pillow for your head. A body for your heart. Air for you to breathe. Don’t look for excuses to stay with someone who only sees you for what you can do. Excuses aren’t accepted. A man cannot hide his soul.
And when some men finally find recognition, when the world begins to notice them, they forget. We choose to eat with women who never had to starve with us. We forget the woman who went hungry by our side at that small dinner table we shared in silence. We forget the hands that fed us when we had nothing and the eyes that cried with us in our darkest moments.
The truth is that some women are not meant to go with you on your rise—they’re meant to be the reason you ever made it there. Don’t ever forget that.